A Pleaser No Longer Becoming Assertive edition by Jay Earley Health Fitness Dieting eBooks
Download As PDF : A Pleaser No Longer Becoming Assertive edition by Jay Earley Health Fitness Dieting eBooks 
Do you always go along with what other people want and try to make them happy? Are you afraid to assert yourself or set limits? This book shows how to work through the psychological issues that drive People Pleasing so you can let go of this pattern. You will learn to exercise your personal power.
You will learn about the different types of People Pleasing, the fears that drive them, and the childhood wounds behind them. You will learn how to work through your fears, identify the aspects of assertiveness you want to develop, and engage in a life practice to embrace them.
This book is based on the Pattern System, a comprehensive and detailed map of the human psyche.
A Pleaser No More is more than a book. It includes
* An online workbook
* An online quiz
* Recorded guided meditations
* An online community
A Pleaser No Longer Becoming Assertive edition by Jay Earley Health Fitness Dieting eBooks
I found it rather whitewashed and incomplete. I'm a big fan of Jay Early's work, but rather disappointed in this book. Overall, it gave some good headway, points, and insights. There is an online workbook, I found it difficult to locate, and required a fee to enroll and use when I tried to connect via computer. The kindle does connect but it was cumbersome to use. Nonetheless, the workbook served no more than a focal of ideas/realizations, or as an online journal, so rather needless overall.In regards to the whitewashing, and incomplete nature, it mainly addressed situations where most everyone was readily receptive to the character, Lauren. One person less than receptive eventually embraced this empowered character with some due diligence on Lauren's part. It was very easy, as it can be when dealing with "normal" or "functional" people. But coming from a large, extended, dysfunctional family, I found a huge section on what to do missing, when say for example, a family member not only rejects any form of assertiveness but reacts with hostility or even physical violence. It also neglected to mention how dangerous it can be for a person to assert themselves, especially in the beginning, to an abusive family member, and to first find a public area, a safe distance to assert oneself over the phone or something similar. How does one tread the minefield of disordered family members whilst walking the path of self Assertion(most probably without the support of others deep in the mire of dysfunction)?
So yes, it is possible everything comes out roses, and gumdrops, but what if it doesn't, what then? Maybe throw in some more perspectives, or experiences, for a better balanced or more complete book. Add a little more struggle than what was included, make it a bit more real. Maybe the husband doesn't support the wife, Lauren, in her assertive path, and write how does the character handle the In-laws then. I'm sure Jay Early has experienced a larger spectrum of situations than what he included in this book, how about adding those too. I have people-pleasing friends who could benefit from a broader/inclusive book, but sadly cannot recommend this book to them. Luckily I found a book on a similar subject, that went far beyond this book, addressed things I never even thought of, and even discussed parts about as much if not more than Jay Earley's book. This book resembled more of a pamphlet on People-pleasing in comparison.
I was looking for something deeper, and found wanting. I'm still a fan of his earlier work, but this is by far, not one of his best nor most balanced work.
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A Pleaser No Longer Becoming Assertive edition by Jay Earley Health Fitness Dieting eBooks Reviews
I greatly enjoyed "A Pleaser No Longer Becoming Assertive" -- I found the presentation of the material clear, compassionate, accessible and practical. The overall structure and interactivity of the book is generous in terms of making external resources available and provides an opening the world of therapeutic options for readers.
I have studied Dr. Earley's "Self Therapy" book and am a firm believer in IFS. I am now intrigued to delve further into the Pattern System Series.
Straight forward, easy to read and apply. Helpful to understand one's reactions and what causes them, and how to adjust one's thinking. Ebook links directly to applicable and very useful online workbook and checklists (available to all). Author has a good self help website with lots of other resources, covering many similar topics. Recommend.
A Pleaser No Longer has given me tremendous help. Now I have the tools and the internal understanding to assert myself constructively. I have learned how to set and maintain personal boundaries without becoming inaccessible. Even though I have read several books on this subject, the way in which Earley explains it is very complete. I love how he treats the interrelationships between the subconscious beliefs, motivations, and behavior patterns that sabotage our best interests. I like how he integrates psychology with spirituality and also the delicacy, sensitivity, and wisdom in this book. Earley treats these issues that cause so much pain in such a simple and profound way that I've become a fan of his work.
Dr. Earley---and Bonnie Weiss---have written and taught extensively on psychological issues, and they continue to offer introductory courses and therapy by phone. This book has several good ideas about how to deal with people pleasing, something that I have struggled with myself.
As with any book of advice---psychological or otherwise---there is no substitute for a one-on-one consultation because nobody has the exact same situation. But there are plenty of good ideas here that will prove helpful to anyone wanting to deal more effectively with the problem of people pleasing.
Also, I give my HIGHEST RECOMMENDATION to "Self Therapy", another book by Dr. Earley.
This book is only good if you have the work book that goes with it. In the book it keeps talking about a work book and keeps referring to it. It can get confusing.
Helpful
I found it rather whitewashed and incomplete. I'm a big fan of Jay Early's work, but rather disappointed in this book. Overall, it gave some good headway, points, and insights. There is an online workbook, I found it difficult to locate, and required a fee to enroll and use when I tried to connect via computer. The kindle does connect but it was cumbersome to use. Nonetheless, the workbook served no more than a focal of ideas/realizations, or as an online journal, so rather needless overall.
In regards to the whitewashing, and incomplete nature, it mainly addressed situations where most everyone was readily receptive to the character, Lauren. One person less than receptive eventually embraced this empowered character with some due diligence on Lauren's part. It was very easy, as it can be when dealing with "normal" or "functional" people. But coming from a large, extended, dysfunctional family, I found a huge section on what to do missing, when say for example, a family member not only rejects any form of assertiveness but reacts with hostility or even physical violence. It also neglected to mention how dangerous it can be for a person to assert themselves, especially in the beginning, to an abusive family member, and to first find a public area, a safe distance to assert oneself over the phone or something similar. How does one tread the minefield of disordered family members whilst walking the path of self Assertion(most probably without the support of others deep in the mire of dysfunction)?
So yes, it is possible everything comes out roses, and gumdrops, but what if it doesn't, what then? Maybe throw in some more perspectives, or experiences, for a better balanced or more complete book. Add a little more struggle than what was included, make it a bit more real. Maybe the husband doesn't support the wife, Lauren, in her assertive path, and write how does the character handle the In-laws then. I'm sure Jay Early has experienced a larger spectrum of situations than what he included in this book, how about adding those too. I have people-pleasing friends who could benefit from a broader/inclusive book, but sadly cannot recommend this book to them. Luckily I found a book on a similar subject, that went far beyond this book, addressed things I never even thought of, and even discussed parts about as much if not more than Jay Earley's book. This book resembled more of a pamphlet on People-pleasing in comparison.
I was looking for something deeper, and found wanting. I'm still a fan of his earlier work, but this is by far, not one of his best nor most balanced work.
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